Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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