i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You're like the curious george of whores
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
