My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
