I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
They took my balls.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize