so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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