Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
