That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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