Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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