I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
