I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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