the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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