well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
