Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
