I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
