She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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