i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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