What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
