I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
