I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
