I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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