I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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