addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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