I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
