I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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