I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
