I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
