Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
