just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
