i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
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