You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
