Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
