walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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