I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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