they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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