I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
