i was born a porn star she said
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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