NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Randomize
