If i could tip my vagina, i would.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
