are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
