I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
