stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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