But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
This baby is an asshole
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
