btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
