That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
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