Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
