Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
They are going to name an STD after you.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
