when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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