This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
