You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
