I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I looked at my own cervix.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize