I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
