I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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