Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
