I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
