So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
